And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize