she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
