They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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