I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
