if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
