well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
