There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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