Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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