Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
