i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
