Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Enjoy the penises
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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