I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize