Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
