He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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