She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
