You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize