i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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