Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize