This girl is more easily done than said...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
