I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
