"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
