i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
