Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
