No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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