fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
