I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
