Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
