but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
