Whatcha textin bout Willis?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
