He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
