So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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