from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
