we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize