she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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