I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
