Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
