you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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