is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The air was thick with penises
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize