Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
In other news, I just burned my penis
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
