The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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