you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
