Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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