If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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