The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
