i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
