It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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