woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
