HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
