Pants 0. Shit 1.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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