Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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