3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
