college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
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Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So. Much. Porn.
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