just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
