I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize