we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
try to milk me bitch
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