maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
ttyl tear gas
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He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
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I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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