How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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