I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize