Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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